Monday, February 13, 2012

Chasms

A chasm of time has passed since I updated this blog. Entire lifetimes, it seems.

It is now 2012. My father has passed away. I have returned to New Orleans.

Today, I am terribly lovesick for the past. It's ridiculous; I find myself almost driven to tears by it, like I used to when I was a younger woman, when I felt love tear at me like a bird of prey. I haven't been in deep, serious love in many, many years. It was so painful. But so unutterably joyful too. I feel a pinch of it today--enough to redden my cheeks and to plant a bed of violets in my gut and feel them blooming inside me with a flutter and a spark.

Mama's got the lovesick blues.

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