Chasms

A chasm of time has passed since I updated this blog. Entire lifetimes, it seems.

It is now 2012. My father has passed away. I have returned to New Orleans.

Today, I am terribly lovesick for the past. It's ridiculous; I find myself almost driven to tears by it, like I used to when I was a younger woman, when I felt love tear at me like a bird of prey. I haven't been in deep, serious love in many, many years. It was so painful. But so unutterably joyful too. I feel a pinch of it today--enough to redden my cheeks and to plant a bed of violets in my gut and feel them blooming inside me with a flutter and a spark.

Mama's got the lovesick blues.

Makes Me Really Like People

Sweet thing of the day: http://www.tweenbots.com/

People helped this robot find its way across NYC.

Karate Kids!

I wouldn't want to meet any of these kids in a dark alley. Especially that little blonde chick. She has hate in her eyes.

Love Me!

Isn't that how we all feel?

Somebody's Sick of You

And your shit...

Public School Ruined My Life

And the actual basement of a public school in Williamsburg. WTF happened down there? And why was it just LEFT like that?

Housewife Hatin'

Catching up on a bunch of old graffiti photos I took ages ago and just haven't put up. So some are from xmas time, even.

The Housewives of Orange County got some choice treatment from NYC subway scribblers.

Defacing Models

A fun subway pasttime.

Hipster Hatin'

photo courtesy of ChristyLove

Madonna Cover

I love the Flaming Lips even more after hearing this.

India Moments

There are some India photos here. I'm still editing it, so forgive the weird orientations.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9070520@N06/sets/72157614022909103/

There's so much to tell. I've been back for about a month and am just now coming down off of the high. Honestly, I can't wait to leave again, to go somewhere else, to keep moving.

I learned a lot of things about myself through the challenges I faced there. Through not trusting myself I was reminded to trust myself. Trust that stray zombie cows will not corner you to eat you. Trust that stray temple dogs will only growl at you if you cover your hair and eyes. Trust that the temple monkeys are only looking for snacks. Trust that the temple keeper only wants your American money because he collects it. Trust that his smile is true. Trust that your chakras are ok. Trust you won't be run over by that auto. Trust that not EVERYONE is out to scam you. Trust that some even want to help; some may even become your friends. Trust that you won't pee all over yourself while squatting over that toilet. Trust that you will be safe, even happy. Trust that even when you worry there's no love to be found, it's right here all the time.

Shreveport Science Museum

I visted the science museum in Shreveport, Louisiana, with my step niece and nephew a while back. Here are photos from our electrifying adventure.

India

I'm sad to say, I haven't been able to upload any photos of this trip just yet, but let me tell you a little about it while I steal a few moments at this internet cafe.

Wow, India is, as you would expect, pretty amazing. The first day I was walking around thinking I was just in a dream. I couldn't believe I was here. My friend Juen and I just kept looking at each other with wide eyes. Also, we hadn't slept in what felt like two days.

We're here for my friend and coworker's wedding. Babu is doing a totally old-school arranged marriage. He hasn't even met his fiance yet. But he is taking care of us as if we were royalty. The company we work with in Chennai has the most AMAZING guys working there. I was already excited to meet the people who'd been building all of my pages at work, but I never would have guessed how incredibly patient, hospitable and charming they were. They're shepherding us through their country in a way we couldn't ever pay for. What kind, kind people and we are really going to miss them when we leave Pondicherry!

South India is beautiful and tropical and lush. We landed in Chennai, which is a gritty place that doesn't offer much for the Western traveler. My friend Juen said she'd read it referred to as the "Detroit of India." We agree. We did have the singular experience of walking through these city streets at 3 am, a once-in-a-lifetime experience that we NEVER would have had without Babu there. The streets were populated with stray men and boys walking late, just hanging out, a lot of loose dogs, and cows. Then we had our first auto ride! (The three-wheeled, bright yellow autorickshaws that maneuver the traffic wildly and recklessly.) Wow. One of the most amazing things, though, was watching the city unfold as the hours went by. Early morning was dark, and quiet, but still populated. Morning slowly begins, and the incessant honking starts in the streets. Shops open, the streets flood with everything that moves: people walking, bicycles, scooters, motorcycles, autos, taxis, trucks, dogs, cows--everything and everyone shares the road. No one walks on the sidewalk. No one pays attention to lane divisions. There are hardly any streetlights to speak of. Hence the incessant honking. It gets louder and busier as the sun goes down. The auto rides are wilder, the neon lights come on, the Bollywood tunes emerge from shops. Then slowly, the streets fold up again.

The city is a living entity, and the traffic is truly its pulse. You can sense the life of the city through the flow of its traffic. It's a community event. The drivers honk incessantly as they round the bend to alert anyone coming the other way. It seems rude at first, but when you think of it, it's really rather neighborly. They're always communicating.

Truthfully, we experienced this traffic flow more in Pondicherry. But that's another story I'll have to tell at another internet cafe...!

"I Love Myself..."

Hatin' on Elvis

Rolf's: Magical Christmas Wonderland

My friend Christy introduced me to an amazing place last night: Rolf's on 3rd Ave. at about 22nd. This place really is magical at Xmas time--not that I've ever been there at any other time--but before I say anymore, I'll just show you the land of dolls watching over you with Brooke Shields eyebrows and Austro-Germanic steins filled with European beer served by Indian bartenders.

Post-Birthday "Poop"

I miss posting graffiti it was the whole inspiration for this blog. So here's some more. Graffiti using the word "poop" always makes me laugh. It's so juvenile, and so opposite of all of the posturing one has to do in New York at times. It just breaks it down. I get so uptight about the posturing, but it's just a part of the game, a part of life here. Sometimes that's one of the reasons I feel like I have to leave this place. But the thing is, there are a few things I still have to do here. You know how your gut tells you you're not done yet, even though you feel like you should have been done years ago? Mainly, I think I've just been lazy and sad (one feeding the other) lately and not opening my eyes to see, so I've been lost. Time is passing and I'm getting older, and still have yet to do much I'm proud of. I'm working on it, it just hasn't come to fruition yet. For some of us it takes longer. I guess I just have to honor how long it's taking me.



I just turned 37 on Tuesday, and was having a conversation about failure with a friend the other day. And when you take the argument that you're a failure to it's logical end, you generally end up realizing you're not a failure at all, really, you're usually right in the middle of doing the things you set out to do, you're in the thick of making that success you long for. The main thing I want to try to remember is that I came from a very different kind of place. I mean, I grew up in a trailer park. For real. And here I am, trailer trash all growed up, having published only a couple of poems, but having gotten into a respectable MFA program, making a decent living in new media, having had at least a couple of big love loves in my life, blessed with interesting and kind friends and family, surviving in a machine of a city that can really chew you up, and finding at least a little happiness along the way. No, I don't have a tenured spot somewhere or a book deal, or scads of money, and I'm not out saving the world or traveling everywhere I'd like to go, but I have done well at trivia, hammed it up at karaoke and had a few good kisses in my time, and (the elephant in my head and virtual room here, if I'm honest) am no longer under the heavy thumb of poverty, and, well, that's a poopload to be thankful for. Happy birthday to me, if I do say so myself.

Doogie Howser, speaker of truth!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

I'm a little late catching on to this, but it's so awesome, I had to put it up.

Getting Ready for Tamil!

I'm heading to my friend's wedding in South India in February, and this is helping me out.

I'm Thankful for Mexican Wrestlers and Mariachi Bands

This video is fun! I just saw a ton of mariachi bands last night, so the fashion perked me up here. I have some lame video of it that I'll put up in another post.

So this band, Noah and the Whale, was recommended to me by LastFM, who thought I'd like them based on my loved tracks. LastFM, so thoughtful.

I really need to visit Mexico. Magic, man, magic. It's in Mexican blood, in the literature, in the water. Time for some español lessons. Escuchar, fools!

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving!